[ Roland goes through a slow cycle of breaths, and if his silence is scaring Inigo, it's why he's attempting to calm himself. The beating of his heart. The fire in his blood, heating up his veins.
The second time this beast returns to his periphery was months ago - months? - in Goldpaw, with Evan to bear witness. He felt it then, too. The desire to avenge. To rectify what was wrong. A mother and child just asking for safe passage, only to be denied by a beast who preyed on the weak, the innocent. Would hide at the sound of armies marching, would only come out when he knows he would win in a fight of intimidation.
It made Roland sick to his stomach. The ringing in his ears only grow louder.
Jerk. Loser. Spineless. Nobody loves you.
Knock your teeth in. For what? For Inigo telling him that he shouldn't be afraid of other people's kindness? What was Reno thinking? That this was cool? That this was right? Is this the experience he was boasting about, part of the Public Safety Department?
Roland's skin is crawling in disgust. He feels goosebumps in the back of his neck. Shameful.
Though it seems longer than it actually is, Roland breaks his dangerous reverie and turns fully to face Inigo, still sat there, still wondering what was running through his mind. But he shouldn't be fooled by the stoicism, for Roland was already on a different mode altogether. Now that he knew this about Reno, what was once amicable conversation with a capable teammate has turned into something he can't quite place. But it is no longer the same, and his desire to protect this child - a child he has asked for the privilege to put under his care - circumvents all else. ]
[ Roland's voice is low, throaty. Steady. ]
You know, Inigo. We have a word for people like Reno. He's a bully. A total bully without remorse. [ He kneels back down, leaning against one leg propped up so he meets Inigo's gaze straight on. His stare burns like a wildfire. His instincts are growing out of his control. Roland's hands are on his shoulders; firmly grasping him to understand. ] And bullies are cowards who would rather hurt other people even if they've done nothing wrong because that's the easier thing to do. You are innocent in all this. From what you've told me, your hands are clean and you should have called Reno worse things than just a jerk.
[ He leans close. ] None of what he says is true. None of it. You hear me? Don't you dare believe a single word that falls out of his mouth starting now. Stand up to him more, defend yourself more. When we don't fight bullies, they win. They get permission to do worse things to you, and suddenly, it's all out of your control.
2/3
The second time this beast returns to his periphery was months ago - months? - in Goldpaw, with Evan to bear witness. He felt it then, too. The desire to avenge. To rectify what was wrong. A mother and child just asking for safe passage, only to be denied by a beast who preyed on the weak, the innocent. Would hide at the sound of armies marching, would only come out when he knows he would win in a fight of intimidation.
It made Roland sick to his stomach. The ringing in his ears only grow louder.
Jerk. Loser. Spineless. Nobody loves you.
Knock your teeth in. For what? For Inigo telling him that he shouldn't be afraid of other people's kindness? What was Reno thinking? That this was cool? That this was right? Is this the experience he was boasting about, part of the Public Safety Department?
Roland's skin is crawling in disgust. He feels goosebumps in the back of his neck. Shameful.
Though it seems longer than it actually is, Roland breaks his dangerous reverie and turns fully to face Inigo, still sat there, still wondering what was running through his mind. But he shouldn't be fooled by the stoicism, for Roland was already on a different mode altogether. Now that he knew this about Reno, what was once amicable conversation with a capable teammate has turned into something he can't quite place. But it is no longer the same, and his desire to protect this child - a child he has asked for the privilege to put under his care - circumvents all else. ]
[ Roland's voice is low, throaty. Steady. ]
You know, Inigo. We have a word for people like Reno. He's a bully. A total bully without remorse. [ He kneels back down, leaning against one leg propped up so he meets Inigo's gaze straight on. His stare burns like a wildfire. His instincts are growing out of his control. Roland's hands are on his shoulders; firmly grasping him to understand. ] And bullies are cowards who would rather hurt other people even if they've done nothing wrong because that's the easier thing to do. You are innocent in all this. From what you've told me, your hands are clean and you should have called Reno worse things than just a jerk.
[ He leans close. ] None of what he says is true. None of it. You hear me? Don't you dare believe a single word that falls out of his mouth starting now. Stand up to him more, defend yourself more. When we don't fight bullies, they win. They get permission to do worse things to you, and suddenly, it's all out of your control.