[ Roland stares at Inigo with a quiet face. By all means, this admission is exactly what should melt Roland's heart - and to some extent, it does. It's earnest and generous and so very Inigo that he doesn't know how else to react to it.
But there is guilt that floods him immediately after Inigo tells him Roland is deserving of more. He keeps things to himself for personal reasons - because it's much better for everyone around him if he functioned as he was wired to do. Yet here Inigo comes knocking at his door with an honest offering, expecting nothing but his affection in return.
Yet; and yet.
He harbors too much pain. Roland doesn't even know where to start. Regardless. He has to keep moving forward, has to keep trying to be better. He decides on the smallest step, for now. Treading carefully, wondering how to go about it. ]
[ Roland clears his throat. ]
...I really don't know what to say to that except how grateful I am to receive your trust. I told you that once, if you can recall. I still feel like I need to work hard to earn it, at any rate. But I want to be able to listen to you with a full understanding of what you're going through. [ A decisive shake of his head. ] So it wouldn't be fair if...if I didn't reciprocate the same effort.
[ Formal as he is, it's the best way he knows how to talk when he's uncertain of his own self. But what he latches on to is the care he has, authentic and real, for Inigo. ]
I won't beat around the bush, pup. I'm pretty terrible at talking about myself. Do you think you could help me out? [ The smile he throws Inigo's way could be considered shy, if one were to look at it under a certain light. But you could just be imagining things! ] What...can I share with you? Gah. That sounds a little awkward. Hm. What would be something relevant to know? No, that's not it either.
[ Wow. Inigo, you've caught yourself a rare, ultra rare, ultra super mega rare form of a flustered Roland! ]
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But there is guilt that floods him immediately after Inigo tells him Roland is deserving of more. He keeps things to himself for personal reasons - because it's much better for everyone around him if he functioned as he was wired to do. Yet here Inigo comes knocking at his door with an honest offering, expecting nothing but his affection in return.
Yet; and yet.
He harbors too much pain. Roland doesn't even know where to start. Regardless. He has to keep moving forward, has to keep trying to be better. He decides on the smallest step, for now. Treading carefully, wondering how to go about it. ]
[ Roland clears his throat. ]
...I really don't know what to say to that except how grateful I am to receive your trust. I told you that once, if you can recall. I still feel like I need to work hard to earn it, at any rate. But I want to be able to listen to you with a full understanding of what you're going through. [ A decisive shake of his head. ] So it wouldn't be fair if...if I didn't reciprocate the same effort.
[ Formal as he is, it's the best way he knows how to talk when he's uncertain of his own self. But what he latches on to is the care he has, authentic and real, for Inigo. ]
I won't beat around the bush, pup. I'm pretty terrible at talking about myself. Do you think you could help me out? [ The smile he throws Inigo's way could be considered shy, if one were to look at it under a certain light. But you could just be imagining things! ] What...can I share with you? Gah. That sounds a little awkward. Hm. What would be something relevant to know? No, that's not it either.
[ Wow. Inigo, you've caught yourself a rare, ultra rare, ultra super mega rare form of a flustered Roland! ]