[ He stops himself because the emotions are still running pretty high. Bullying riles him up for so many reasons, but he can't forget what it was like either. He has to return to the Roland of the past, the little kid who thought taking in the hits and letting the bullies do what they wanted with him was the right thing to do.
He doesn't move into that enclosed space Inigo takes up for himself as he backs away. Instead, Roland takes a quick moment to close his eyes and just breathe. This seemed to be more than a Reno issue, even if that's how it started. This was about Inigo hearing what his insecurities are telling him are true, even when they're not. The redhead's bullying was just making it worse, amplifying it, validating it.
And that required a different approach to argue against. Roland thinks. He looks back and wonders what he could have done if he had to speak to the little one of his past; what he would tell Will, if Will came up to him and told him he was getting bullied too.
Roland leans against the sink, arms crossed. His energy returns to his regular wavelength, even if he'll never forget what Reno said to Inigo for as long as he's on the train. That, he'll deal with later. His voice remains intense, hushed. ]
None of it is true, Inigo. You're not just loved, you're also brave. And generous. And kind. Warm. Friendly. You're all those things, and more. [ He shakes his head, loosening his hair tie. ] But I know you're not going to believe me off the bat. That voice in our heads is a lot stronger than we give it credit for. [ He speaks from experience now, only hoping to empathize with Inigo in a different way. ]
I should know. [ Roland glances at Inigo, cramped as they are in this little bathroom they were just cleaning moments before. He's much calmer now, even though his words are weighty. ] A lot of people said mean, nasty things about me too, once upon a time. They hurt me in ways I can't forget. And the worst part was I believed them, thought they were right. I even told myself, maybe if I just agreed to all of it, all that abuse, then they'd finally leave me alone.
They didn't. And I felt terrible, every single day. But on and on, it went. Inside my head, outside with the other kids. A never-ending cycle.
[ Inigo may not know it right away, but this was a narration of Roland's own past. A lesson he wishes to impart, even if it was unsolicited or unwarranted. ]
no subject
[ He stops himself because the emotions are still running pretty high. Bullying riles him up for so many reasons, but he can't forget what it was like either. He has to return to the Roland of the past, the little kid who thought taking in the hits and letting the bullies do what they wanted with him was the right thing to do.
He doesn't move into that enclosed space Inigo takes up for himself as he backs away. Instead, Roland takes a quick moment to close his eyes and just breathe. This seemed to be more than a Reno issue, even if that's how it started. This was about Inigo hearing what his insecurities are telling him are true, even when they're not. The redhead's bullying was just making it worse, amplifying it, validating it.
And that required a different approach to argue against. Roland thinks. He looks back and wonders what he could have done if he had to speak to the little one of his past; what he would tell Will, if Will came up to him and told him he was getting bullied too.
Roland leans against the sink, arms crossed. His energy returns to his regular wavelength, even if he'll never forget what Reno said to Inigo for as long as he's on the train. That, he'll deal with later. His voice remains intense, hushed. ]
None of it is true, Inigo. You're not just loved, you're also brave. And generous. And kind. Warm. Friendly. You're all those things, and more. [ He shakes his head, loosening his hair tie. ] But I know you're not going to believe me off the bat. That voice in our heads is a lot stronger than we give it credit for. [ He speaks from experience now, only hoping to empathize with Inigo in a different way. ]
I should know. [ Roland glances at Inigo, cramped as they are in this little bathroom they were just cleaning moments before. He's much calmer now, even though his words are weighty. ] A lot of people said mean, nasty things about me too, once upon a time. They hurt me in ways I can't forget. And the worst part was I believed them, thought they were right. I even told myself, maybe if I just agreed to all of it, all that abuse, then they'd finally leave me alone.
They didn't. And I felt terrible, every single day. But on and on, it went. Inside my head, outside with the other kids. A never-ending cycle.
[ Inigo may not know it right away, but this was a narration of Roland's own past. A lesson he wishes to impart, even if it was unsolicited or unwarranted. ]