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And Roland.. does he love? Inigo thinks so. Even though Roland's outward demeanour may be very different from Inigo's own, who hugs and holds hands and clings to people like no tomorrow, there's no doubt in his mind that Roland does love. The sheer love and easy acceptance he's shown Inigo alone already feels like so much.
But then the man finally brings it back around in such a way that even Inigo's oblivious mind can't miss what he's saying, and it instantly lights up Inigo's cheeks. ]
What?
[ Wait, was this about him all along?
No matter how strong his self-depreciation is though, there's no way even Inigo can deny the fact that he does love. Maybe a bit too much, but.. still. ]
Well, t.. that's true, but..! [ He can't help but want to protest. Especially while Roland looks at him like that, holds his hand on his shoulder. Has he truly earned it? This much trust from someone so impressive? ] They're a lot of other things too! They're strong, brave, resolute... you're like that too, Roland.
[ A compliment he will never hesitate to give. There are so many positive things he thinks about the other, Inigo could write an entire book about it. ]
And I'm still just fumbling around. I got nervous just thinking about telling you I like men, even though I kind of knew it wasn't as if you were going to get angry about it or anything like that. I-- I still have such a long way to go! [ If he even ever gets there in the first place. ]
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But isn't that what defines bravery, Inigo? [ He squeezes his shoulder a bit more firmer, a tilt of his head against his, temple to temple. ] When you make the decision to just go ahead and do it anyway, even though you were fumbling about it? [ Roland can't be dissuaded. Whatever faith Inigo has lent him, Roland is here to do the same for him. Believes in him, believes in the shine of his light. ] Being strong, resolute....Whatever else you can think of, we weren't born like that. People weren't born like that. Nor is anyone exempt from feeling afraid. I've felt scared more times in my life than I can count, that's for sure. But you pull through when you remember who you're fighting for.
[ Roland nudges his head against Inigo's again, the smile on his face gentle. ] You follow, pup?
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[ It's not like Roland's point is hard to follow, after all. And it's not like it doesn't make logical sense. But applying that logic to himself is a feat that Inigo's brain is just incapable of, which means he's instead just staring at Roland, his cheeks still rosy, even now. ]
I-- I just think you're too kind to me, Roland. Too generous with your faith in me. I haven't even proven to be worth it yet. [ After all, what has he done that Roland has seen? Mostly just cried a lot in front of him, right? And sure, he maybe pulled his weight during missions, but does that really justify the way the man looks at him with such unshakeable faith? ]
Not that I won't keep doing my best! [ His gaze slowly slides away from Roland's, like it's too difficult to keep holding it for long. ] But my best isn't different from anyone else's.
[ In fact, it may even be slightly worse than anyone else's, but Inigo is at least trying to not be totally down on himself here when Roland is being so nice. ]
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So what does that leave Roland with?
The rosiness in his cheeks is met with the warmth of Roland's palms, cradling his face gently. Forehead to forehead, his smile grows even more affectionate, earnest in his answer. ]
It's a generosity that I give on my own accord, Inigo. I believe it. I'll keep doing it, too. Until you're ready to hear my words, and agree. Take your time. Don't rush it. You're getting there.
[ He doesn't pull away just yet, chuckling through the latter response. ]
What are you talking about? Of course your best is different from everyone else's. [ Roland then lets go, resumes an arm slung across his shoulder. ] It's Inigo's best.
[ Sure, that could be taken self-deprecatingly too. But Roland doesn't even entertain the notion. He's nothing but resolute on the fact, won't believe for himself even if Inigo tells him that just makes it far worse. It's a belief he hopes will reach him, anyway. ]
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Of course it won't make it go away forever. The insecurity will sneak back - it always does, after all. But right now-- right now Inigo's heart just feels warm. It just wants to bury itself into this warmth and love and hide there forever from the rest of the world which feels so much colder. ]
Thank you.
[ That's all he says when Roland moves his head away. It sounds a little raw - because he's overwhelmed, feeling so many emotions that it feels like he'll cry, already feeling his eyes grow a little watery, though not in a bad way necessarily.
It's just-- just a gratitude that he can't even start putting properly into words.
He raises a hand, rubbing at his eyes before the water in them can spill into tears.
Honestly, maybe the best way he can explain to Roland how much the other's attitude and paternal care means to him is by just saying: ]
Mother.. Mother always made me feel this way too. [ Unconditionally supported, even when he wasn't sure he could live up to it. Even when he thought he wasn't worth it. ]
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...That's an honor I'll always cherish. I'll always do my best to do right by you, pup. [ A role he chooses. A role he will fulfill to the end of his days. ] And to tell you the truth, if I ever got meet Olivia, [ - and Chrom, though he keeps that implicit. It sounds impossible, but he knows anything can happen now, on this train, in this life. ] the first thing I would tell her is how her son grew up to be an amazing young man.
[ The corner of his eyes crinkle in fondness, which he then hides by draping his arm over Inigo's shoulders again in a quick motion. ] Thank you for your honesty, Inigo. For what you've told me, for wanting to share parts of your life. Be patient with me, okay?
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But for now he'll gladly momentarily lean against Roland when the other drapes his arm over his shoulders like that. ]
Of course..
[ Being honest isn't always easy for Inigo. But he's grown better lately, he thinks. He's making an honest effort, because he really can't demand Roland to tell a single thing about himself without at least offering up the same in turn. ]
Just tell me things whenever you feel ready to do so. I'll wait. [ Especially since Inigo knows how hard it is. But Roland has shown that he's willing to try, so Inigo is willing to take things slow. ] But.. I've taken up enough of your time for now with something relatively dumb.
[ HE HASN'T FORGOTTEN HOW THIS CONVERSATION STARTED OUT YET, AFTER ALL...
He shakes his head. ]
I should get going.
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[ Because he means it. Roland doesn't want to put that wall between them, doesn't want Inigo to hide even the smallest thing from Roland out of fear or shame. He'll always support him. ]
[ Roland gives him one last squeeze with his arm before letting go. ]
Take care now. I'll see you later. Go on, go do your thing pup.
[ He crosses his arms, smiling. ] Thank you. I'll be here if you need me again.