adregem | 000 - voidtreckerexpress Universal Contact Post

- actually, very well-thought out.

They were taking him for a journey. And he's on-board.

Roland finds his gaze gravitating back to the paper, and as silly as it is, the disappointment slowly blossoms into a spark, flourishing bigger and bigger until the straight line of his lips and the dry expression of his poker face turn into a smile, a careful grin, then there's that quiet laugh under his breath. He's not going insane, he promises. But the idea of having to get excited for this; for the silly irony that to earn a hobby, he had to actually work harder on the mission day so he can get to it faster...

It's just so very them to do, something they probably spoke about and planned and it's that thought which makes him shake his head in fondness, the paper waved at them in mock warning. Suddenly, he returns to a Southern accent again, but the drawl isn't as thick. Just his regular voice that he changes up to make his point. And speaking of such, with two finger-guns on both hands, he mouths a 'pew pew' at them, and pretends to blow away the imaginary wisps of smoke afterwards.

"You two cowboyws are gonna get it from this old timer one of these days. Schemin' away like this. Heh."

Oh, Roland means it. He's really going to have to step it up for them both.

Oh, look at that face.

It's dawning realisation. It's the cogs of his brain a-turning, the sweet nectar as one opens their eyes and sees the truth. The whole picture. Tidus doesn't want to gloat in that reaction, but the moment Roland's face drops so evidently, there's a rush in him. Look. Look at him go!

And to be fair, it's not a misery Tidus wants to bask or soak in, no matter what others may think. ...okay, maybe he has expectations, but look. It's not about misery. It's about the expectation, and Tidus will argue 'til the fish swim off that it is.

Except--that expression picks back up. The instructions with it. And that. Thing. With Roland's hands. What?? Did he mimic guns?? It's a puzzling change from what just was, and is this a cover-up? Roland realising the truth, even if he isn't giving him any particular looks (because hey, knows out of the two who'd be thought to be the mastermind--and it's not everyday he gets to be one, y'know!). It doesn't make Tidus any less suspicious, but he's far more giddy, smirking. Watching this dork of a guy, cheerful threat.

He puts a hand on his waist, leans back on his own two feet.

"Like t'see ya try," he drawls challengingly.

If Roland's reaction had just been the first part, Inigo would have been a lot more worried. Really, he's just too weak. He could never endure Roland being discouraged or unhappy in any way, so he would have ran to grab the kit for him as quickly as possible, even if Tidus would bodily try to stop him.

But then Roland - kind of strangely, are you okay there, dad? - starts to smile instead, and Inigo hopes that means Tidus really was right about all this. That Roland's anticipation is slowly turning into the good kind, into excitement.

And the fact that the older guy may be a bit more serious than Inigo would imagine about getting them back for this goes completely over the boy's head.

Because he's not exchanging words like the two of them are. No, he's determined to make up for his roleplay failure due to a lack of being able to understand cowboy accents by instead mimicking out the most dramatic death scene possible when Roland pretends to shoot at them. He just lets himself drop on the ground, clutching at his chest, gasping before going limp.

Don't mind him down here, you two. I can't believe Inigo is dead.

The over-the-top reaction from Inigo should have incited a different reaction from Roland. Instead, it encourages him, secretly giddy as he is that he's gotten a chance at rebuilding a famous model from his youth now, when he's wiser, when his hands are more nimble and used to the work. As soon as Inigo falls to the ground, the cartoon villain in Roland revs to life, his expression missing only the long, thin mustache that he could twirl around his fingers.

"Looks like I got 'yer partner well and good, cowboy." He drawls at Tidus slowly this time, not laying it on so thick, but just enough to keep the facade for a time. In fact, he'll walk over like a true cowboy, pretending his regular Voidtrecker shoes were instead crafted in heavy leather as Roland crosses the counter and approaches Inigo's body on the floor. Not quite crouching, but a lean from the hip, looking over him.

"You tell 'em ranchers north of this here Kitchen car that you've got a rootin' tootin' gunslinger like me runnin' the joint. I'll do you one just like this here youngin' if you ever come back with a crazy snake in a boot again." Said snake in the boot - the instruction guide folded up the way it's given to him - disappears in his arms band, rather dramatic golden flourish of light and sparkle, before Roland leans further down and whispers in Inigo's ear.

"This is the part where you wake up and you shoot me back."

Tidus turns, thinks for half a second to go down and do...anything. But no. He instead opts for staring at the lump of a body his friend has decided to become, but sure -- there's no topping that. That should be the end of it right there, shouldn't it?

But Roland is still going, Tidus wearing an exasperated expression as he looks back at him, all the impromptu energy he came into this evaporated. He doesn't even know what this storyline is anymore! What part is he supposed to play? Ughhhhhh-

"This is stupid..." he mutters, flushed, stuck without a part to know what to play. A good thing father and son are being conspirators below.

.. Inigo is starting to feel like it was a good idea to pretend to be a corpse at this point, since he has absolutely no idea what Roland is talking about as the older guy hovers over him. Even with his eyes closed, Inigo can hear the words, but that doesn't mean that any of them make sense to him.

A rooting.. toothing.. gunslinger..? Other worlds are so weird.

But then there are two branching paths. He can hear Roland whisper those instructions to him - and at least those are clear, thank Naga! - but then it's quickly followed up by the sound of Tidus's mutter, quiet, but still audible to Inigo.

Usually he would have followed Roland's instructions a bit more directly, ever the obedient son when it comes down to it, but he cna't let that disheartening statement from Tidus just stand. He can't leave his friend out of this!

Except, of course, that Inigo decides to choose the absolute dumbest way to try and involve Tidus in this again.

"Ugh.. I-- I don't think I'll make it.. Maybe I might if I'm helped up by some amazing guy whose name starts with a T and ends in idus.."

He opens an eye. Just so he can wink at Roland. Dad, look, isn't he great and subtle with this whole roleplaying thing? He's even improvising now! He's got it nailed down to a T!

(Somehow they're the exact same brand of dork when it comes down to it, huh. Like adoptive genetics.)

Inigo...

He holds back his chuckle at the last second, making sure neither of them could see or sense the smile threatening to break loose. What in the world was this, now? This crazy little improvisation, this masterful tactic and shift of script? Roland loves it, deep down. The play-acting, the pretend that transports him into another kind of world; one of his choosing, this time. One he wants to be in, even if his experiences thus far have been rewarding in their own way.

It strikes even fonder still when they play along so well, despite the occasional lapses in character. Tidus, obviously no longer in the running to get with it, but look at how Inigo catches the fall. They could be in his theatre group back in high school at this level of dedication! So how could he possibly break himself? He needs only to see this, and to remember that both of them gave him a gift no one else would have thought to spend on him.

"W-What?!" He exclaims convincingly, dramatically. Taking a step back, eyes wide and his brows up high. "You're still breathin', and you've got reinforcements?" That's the cue. Roland looks at Tidus sitting pretty there and points at him as if he's the enemy of the century. Nudges a little at Inigo on the floor with a strategic yet gentle movement of his closest foot to shoulder, a sign to let him know it's working. It's working!

"You about to pull a trick, cowboy? You the one he's callin' amazing?"

It's now Tidus the one who drags in this play-acting indeed. What did Inigo think Tidus was going to do or say in being called out as amazing here, so sudden, so out of the blue? He's baffled, not shy, cheeks not warming to the compliment, but he is a fish out of water what how his mouth opens and closes, nothing but stutters coming out.

Inigo what are you doing to him!!

This is it, he's gone. No hootin' 'n' hollerin' voices or western movies in his brain, even as Roland goes on, keeps up the game. Tidus stares at him incredulously, the repeat of him being amazing just frazzling with his mind more. He's stuck, not knowing what to do, when he has no idea how to jump into any character, even half-heartedly. Not having it in him to just storm off or even to tell them to stop. But then what?! What?!

Clearly, the answer is to grab Inigo by the elbows.

And to start pulling.

"Inigo get up and shoot him dead already!!"

Has Tidus ever sound so desperately pleading about anything in his life???

Inigo can't tell everything that's going on here with his eyes practically closed here, but just hearing everything is enough for him. The way Roland rolls with it so easily (thanks, dad, he knew he could count on you!), the slight sign he gives Inigo. And then Tidus's voice-- the pleading that absolutely puts a smile on Inigo's face. Maybe that means he's falling out of his half-corpse role here, but he can't help it, something about Tidus's sudden panicked reaction is so funny.

At least he won't make the other guy have to plead forever. He takes just a moment, maybe two, to stay with his eyes closed, just enough to make Tidus sweat a little and wonder if Inigo really is going to open his eyes.. but then he does, letting himself be pulled up like that by Tidus.

He winks at him too once he's upright enough again. "Got it, partner!"

Putting his hands together to form a gun with his fingers, he points it at Roland. "You can't beat us so easily!" And with a movement of said hands, accompanied by a sound effect he's making with his mouth, he dramatically 'shoots' Roland.

There you go, Tidus.

Dramatics, indeed.

Roland, who is always so serious about things, decides that of all people on this train, these two can afford to see a side of him that's long been buried under a more official mantle. So he performs for them, one last time, before he goes back to pretending he can own a coffee shop and definitely not ~~gushing~~ fixating on the instruction booklet that reminds him of his youth. Something to look forward to after the mission, indeed.

First, he makes it convincing by acting slow. His eyes widening, his mouth open and his hand slowly coming over to his chest. Or wherever it is that Inigo seems to have 'shot' him at. He'll make a choking sound next, sputtering like he can't breathe, his knees giving out on him. Lastly, he'll lean on the nearest wall, feeling himself fall totally on the floor, the light at the end of the tunnel is there...! So close yet so far!

It's a good play-act, by all accounts, with the lack of blood the only thing breaking the illusion. But he seems like he's in actual pain, as his body hits the floor, upright and his head lolling to the side.

Did Inigo actually do something to him!? Stay tuned.

Or not really. Because after all this has been said and done, Roland mutters something, the words of a dying man! Reaches out for them, blinded by his coming doom...!

"Take care...of my MaDnuG..."

And he's gone. End scene. The crowd goes wild. Applause. Tears down women's faces as they fawn over the president retired and turned superstar. His mouth twitches. So silly. But he remembers the robot waiting for him and the two friends who got it for him trying to get him to smile more, so what other reaction would be appropriate but this?

Roland is a changed man, indeed.

...................

tidus is just going over to the end of the counter and turning his back on the pair of them. he gives up. he's out of this thread. he doesn't care anymore. he doesn't know either of them.

he's surrounded by dorks.

000 - voidtreckerexpress Universal Contact Post

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