adregem | 000 - voidtreckerexpress Universal Contact Post

[ There are limits to everything. Even to Inigo's eternal obliviousness, apparently, since there's no way he wouldn't catch on to the fact that it's a joke when Roland lets that laugh escape like that.

Though it has the unfortunate side effect of making him look pouty - in that typical toddler kind of way - when he's pulled into a hug. Yes, Inigo pouting into a hug. It's possible. ]

I can't believe you're making jokes..

[ For what it's worth, Inigo doesn't seem genuinely upset though. There's not even any tears. Just a baby pout. ]

But please, father, no dates. [ Joke or not! ] I'm not interested in anyone right now.

[ Not to mention that there's the nature of this train, and after what happened with Yuki, Inigo is pretty sure he won't live a second time through that kind of heartbreak.

But that's much too depressing to bring up, he thinks. ]

And I honestly doubt anyone is interested in me either.

[ There's the puppy in him. True to his nickname's sake. Roland's light embrace is paired with yet another stifled chuckle, almost cute in how Inigo can play the part of a kid so easily. ]

Well, don't count out future suitors just yet. Even if I was joking, I mean every word when I say you're a catch. Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side.

[ The words come naturally to him, okay!!! ]

But you can relax. I'm probably the last person to actually get you a date or a boyfriend. Well, unless you ask me to. [ Because reasons! One, would they even pass his standards? Do his standards matter? Maybe not! Two, it's Roland and he's been out of the dating game for a good decade. Or two. Sssh. Three, he is also aware of the nature of this train and won't want Inigo to hurt anymore either. So there. ]

[ Oh, don't worry about that last part. No matter how embarrassingly clingy Inigo is with Roland, as if he completely skipped over that phase every teenager needs to have where they want to have nothing to do with parents in general, there's no way he's ever going to ask his dad to set him up with someone. The very thought of is threatens to kill him with shame. Please.

But that's not what Inigo thinks about as he still rests in Roland's embrace for a moment. It's the other words. ]

People keep saying that. [ He still pouts a bit, but softer now. For entirely different reasons. ] That anyone would be lucky to have me.

[ He thinks of Yuki, disappearing into the crowd at the party. I'm going to go.. you enjoy the rest of the party. The awkward avoidance afterwards.

Inigo goes quiet. ]

[ He'll keep him close, maybe hug him a bit tighter and more seriously now. He doesn't exactly know what happened to Inigo, if this was something from his experience in the halidom, with Gerome, with someone else before meeting Roland, but that pensive sort of quiet comes with his usual gentle reassurance. A hand on his back to pat and rub circles against, for comfort. ]

They say it because it's true. And hey, take it from me. I've dated around and...[ He pulls away so Inigo can see his face. Vice versa. ]...If a guy can't see how much of a catch you are right away, then he doesn't deserve any of your hugs. [ A stern expression follows suit. Roland believes this with all his heart. Will fight whoever says otherwise. ]

[ It's harder when Roland looks directly at him like that. Inigo can feel the heat rising to his cheeks, knows they're colouring at this point as he momentarily averts his gaze. It's hard when you're always pretending to be a catch in accordance to your stupid, stupid act, but actually feel like anyone who ends up getting stuck with you has the worst luck possible.

But it's so hard for his insecurities to win over compliments coming from Roland. That's his dad. And the way he says them like this is always so genuine, impossible to question. ]

Well..

[ He pauses, unsure of what to say. Then shakes his head and finally looks back at Roland, a hint of something slightly awkward about him. ]

You probably don't have to worry about me dating anytime soon. I didn't tell you because I got someone in mind, I just.. wanted to let you know? I know it must seem strange and sudden.

[ He loosens his hold on Inigo to the point where he can extend his arms forward, touching his hands to Inigo's forearms. Giving him space to look at him better, and encourage him with the warmth of this gaze. It's not so much the dating part that gets to Roland - and in fact, he's not one to question that at all, having started going on dates at the ripe old age of sixteen - but the earnestness Inigo always grants him. He doesn't have to go this far for Roland, but he chooses to. That will never go unnoticed. ]

Thank you, pup. It doesn't matter if it's strange or sudden. I'm just grateful you trust me enough to share these things with me. I mean it.

[ His hands fall back to his side, though one remains on a cocked hip. ]

.. of course I'd share these things with you.

[ There's that slight pause before he says it, but when he looks back straight into Roland's eyes, the gaze in Inigo's own eyes is much too earnest again for him to not mean it straight from the heart.

But there's no surprise about Roland not assuming Inigo would share these things with just about anyone. Anyone who's close enough with him to be his father figure here would know about how cagey Inigo is, huh.

Maybe that's why he can't help but want to make it extra clear. ]

I'm.. I'm really trying to tell you everything. I don't want there to be secrets between us. [ Not anymore. ] I know I'm unused to it, but.. so far telling you things about myself has been going well, I think.

[ Better than Inigo imagined it ever would, when opening himself up that much to anyone at all. ]

So I want to try to keep doing that. I mean.. I suppose you deserve that much as my father. [ And a father he has an actual emotional connection to. It felt much more natural to hide everything with Chrom in the past back home because it felt like he didn't even know the guy. ]

[ Roland stares at Inigo with a quiet face. By all means, this admission is exactly what should melt Roland's heart - and to some extent, it does. It's earnest and generous and so very Inigo that he doesn't know how else to react to it.

But there is guilt that floods him immediately after Inigo tells him Roland is deserving of more. He keeps things to himself for personal reasons - because it's much better for everyone around him if he functioned as he was wired to do. Yet here Inigo comes knocking at his door with an honest offering, expecting nothing but his affection in return.

Yet; and yet.

He harbors too much pain. Roland doesn't even know where to start. Regardless. He has to keep moving forward, has to keep trying to be better. He decides on the smallest step, for now. Treading carefully, wondering how to go about it. ]

[ Roland clears his throat. ]

...I really don't know what to say to that except how grateful I am to receive your trust. I told you that once, if you can recall. I still feel like I need to work hard to earn it, at any rate. But I want to be able to listen to you with a full understanding of what you're going through. [ A decisive shake of his head. ] So it wouldn't be fair if...if I didn't reciprocate the same effort.

[ Formal as he is, it's the best way he knows how to talk when he's uncertain of his own self. But what he latches on to is the care he has, authentic and real, for Inigo. ]

I won't beat around the bush, pup. I'm pretty terrible at talking about myself. Do you think you could help me out? [ The smile he throws Inigo's way could be considered shy, if one were to look at it under a certain light. But you could just be imagining things! ] What...can I share with you? Gah. That sounds a little awkward. Hm. What would be something relevant to know? No, that's not it either.

[ Wow. Inigo, you've caught yourself a rare, ultra rare, ultra super mega rare form of a flustered Roland! ]

[ Something about the faint awkwardness about Roland's tone as he starts talking surprises Inigo. Not enough to question it just yet, instead keeping silent as he listens to the other speak, but it shows a bit in his gaze, in the way he looks at Roland.

Though the reason for it slowly becomes clear as he fumbles to get out words. And speaks in that weirdly formal way. Like he's carrying out some sort of diplomatic meeting with another important figure rather than talking to Inigo. Is this just what he falls back on when he's nervous, or shy?

Because he does seem kind of shy right now. Inigo is so shy that he could recognize that from a mile away.

But it also means he knows how to handle it.

Which is why he reaches out to grab a hold of Roland's hands, holding them gently in his own as he beams the biggest smile possible at the other. Disarming, just very openly accepting. Trying to make sure to be as reassuring and accomodating as possible. ]

It's alright, I understand. [ Despite his fumbling attempts. ] I don't mind hearing anything at all about you though! But if you need somewhere to start.. hmm, I'd ask about your hobbies, but..

[ YOU KNOW, IT'S PROBABLY JUST WORK. Please, Roland. Don't make him endure having to listen to work-related things. ]

Oh, how about family! I told you all about mine, but I have no idea about yours. [ Other than his wife. ] Do you have any siblings like I do?

[ Disarming definitely was the word for it. But he doesn't linger on how bright Inigo's smile is, a light that just radiates from the boy which Roland can never seem to stop gravitating towards. He allows himself to be lead by the hand in conversation, just grasping at Inigo's own grip in reciprocation, enough to let him know he's listening. He's holding on, though these were unknown depths. Talking about personal things. ]

Heh. All right. And hey, I've got hobbies! [ You just see him work more often than he indulges in them, is all! Truly! But the question is quite brief, and Roland can answer that...easily enough? Or so he would like to think. ]

Well, let's see. That's right, I know about your mother, Olivia. Your father, the king...What was his name? And your sister, Lucina. The one who looks just like you if she tied up her hair. [ Roland's used to having the conversation turn around, away from him, that he sort of naturally falls back into it. Though that doesn't mean he isn't any genuine; he's always wished to know as much as he can about his friends, what more his family?

Right. Family. ]

I'm an only child myself. Grew up with my mom. I told her a little bit about her, right? She got really sad when I was bullied for being a small kid. I never wanted to see her like that, ever. [ He chuckles. ] I'm a proud momma's boy, too.

[ "I've got hobbies", says the man who literally a second later turns the conversation around to be about anything but himself once more.. And while Inigo sure doesn't have any problems with sharing the name of his father with Roland, he's not going to do so quite yet. He's not going to give Roland any excuse to weasel his way out of having to talk about himself instead. ]

No wonder you were so fond of her.

[ It's the impression Inigo got when Roland talked about her, back when they had that conversation about bullies. Maybe it's even why Roland refers to Inigo's mother so much as well whenever he tries to encourage the boy. Roland's mom was all he had back then. ]

But I do guess that makes two of us. [ Inigo would never deny his love for his mom.. ] Although.. is it odd, growing up as an only child? I can't even imagine life without Luce.

[ TELL HIM HIS NAME, INIGO!!!! Let him respect your birth dad!!! But he doesn't dilly-dally any longer anyway. Roland replies a little faster this time, getting into the swing of things. A life without a sibling, huh? In this, they are complete opposites. Roland's ever only known such a family dynamic, and he himself was a single parent now too. ]

Hm. Not really. For me, I can't even imagine what it might have been like if I had siblings. You're lucky to have each other.

[ Would he be the younger? The older? The middle child? ]

But I can admit that it sometimes got a bit lonely. I had to go look for things to do so I wasn't bored, like watch movies and play games. [ Which makes him wonder...Makes him think if he was too selfish about wanting to prioritize the nation's security over giving his firstborn a sibling. He's lonely too, more than Roland ever was as a child. At least Roland had his health. He could run around and be with other kids.

His next statement comes a bit tentative, as if he's testing the waters. Takes a look at Inigo before he crosses his arms against his chest. ]

Lucina is your elder sister, right? Just...making sure. [ Why does he ask? ]

[ Inigo does agree. In a heartbeat, without having to think about it. He's incredibly lucky to have Lucina. Even with everything else that's happened in his life.. at least he had his sister. Even though their communication may not always be ideal, they still helped each other as much as they could.

So he can imagine why it got Roland lonely. He's about to ask what kind of games he played, curious, but then the question he is asked in turn catches him off guard first, making him blink in surprise. ]

Hm? Yes. [ It's really not the question itself that's surprising. It's easy to answer. No, it's those words after - Just making sure. Of what? ] She's two years older than me. Why are you asking..?

[ It feels like it's something that he should have told Inigo a long time ago, but of all the things Roland's never been privy to exposing to just anyone, it's this. Not even to Evan and the rest of them; only forced to do so because they had to save higgledies burrowed underneath their own Memory Lanes.

Still. He's gotten this far, and so far allowing himself to loosen up has been more or less, an experience. Not entirely pleasant, but it's new. Like he's growing up all over again. He uncrosses his arms and turns to Inigo, taking a quick pause before he speaks. Whatever reaction he's expecting, well. Roland will allow himself the mercy of seeing it in real time, instead of imagining the worst play out in his head. ]

No particular reason. [ Blinks. ] But...with my ten-year-old, that probably means you're an older sibling yourself now, too.

[ And he'll refuse it. He won't say it in the past tense. It's the one thing his heart can't do. Not until he sees it with his own eyes, first. ]

[ He pauses.

Honestly, it shouldn't be weird that Roland has a child, considering his actual age. But they had discussed so much stuff before - including mentions of Roland's wife! - that Inigo figured he would have brought it up already if he had a child as well. But no, apparently it's just a very belated announcement, making Inigo's jaw drop slightly as his brains process this new information.

The startled silence doesn't last long though. ]

You have a child?!

[ It doesn't just sound shocked though. There's already something else clearly creeping through - in Inigo's tone, in his expression. Excitement. Because whereas this information may have made him insecure closer back to when he and Roland agreed to view each other this way, right now their bond feels stronger. And that just makes this knowledge turn into the realisation that Roland agreed to view Inigo as his son, even though he already had a child. And that he's willing to view Inigo that way even now, even with the reminder of said child. That he's willing to slot Inigo right in there, an older sibling, like he's just part of the family.

How could his heart not immediately fill up with warmth and affection for the man in front of him at that very realisation? Roland likes him enough that he's not even immediately casting him aside for his own flesh and blood. ]

Is it a boy or a girl? What's their name? If they're ten years old, they have to still be super cute! What are they like? I want to know! [ Congratulations, Roland, you're just getting this waterfall of questions poured straight over you. Apparently Inigo just can't hold his excitement back for long enough to ask things one at a time. ]

I'm going to get to meet them, right? [ This, however, seems to be said with a tiny bit of something extra. It's not Inigo just being oblivious. With what Roland told him before, Inigo knows certain implications. If Roland's world is destroyed, then his child, too--

But he doesn't want to think about that. Inigo promised to help restore his world, so all he has to do is project belief in that to Roland no matter what. It's not an if they meet. It's a when they'll meet. ]

Should I bring a gift? What do you think they'd like? They'll think I'm cool, right? I want to be a cool big brother!

[ The whirlwind of feelings that come with Inigo's reaction take Roland for quite a journey. For one thing, he's both incredibly pleased that Inigo took the news so well, but also terrified that he only has the chance to tell one son such a development. It takes a lot not to dwell on that - the letting go of the past, little by little, or that even as he moves forward one step at a time, Roland is also keen on saving whatever he can of the world left behind. The fact that Inigo speaks in present tense too, tells him enough. The shared desire of both of them to return to what might not even be there, waiting for them. ]

Ah, well...! I do.

[ Taken aback for quite some time, longer than expected, until Roland quietly clears his throat and offers as many answers as he can. Remembering every question headed his way, not missing a single one. He may not have had the pleasure of growing up with a sibling, but if he can give that to his son...Regardless of the implication. When, Roland. Not if, hold on to that. Don't let go. Not until you see it for yourself. ]

He's a boy named William. Will, for short. [ Super cute...? Well, he's got his parents' looks, dark hair, dark eyes, if any of those are important? ] He...He likes reading. [ Or Roland assumes he does. If that's the only thing Will can do while waiting for him to visit, is an entirely different matter altogether. But it must have some meaning, asking for storybooks when he needs anything, something to read while passing the time. Roland's speeches on TV too deep, too adult for Will to latch on to. Just happy to see Roland's face, even through a screen. ] The more fantastical the story, the better. Like fairy tales, or daring adventures in faraway worlds, kind of like what we do here on the train.

[ Little by little, his voice grows fonder. A natural dip, considering Inigo's enthusiasm, his outward acceptance that really, Roland had no business doubting at all. And that last bit - wanting to be cool for him. He chuckles in affection, taking his hand and ruffling Inigo's hair slightly with it. ]

Just be yourself, pup. I know he'll think you're cool. There's no doubt about it. [ And he's all alone, too. Nurses to talk to, books to bury himself in. Roland's other failure; to play dual roles where one never suffered for the one. Father of nation, father to son. He looks down at his feet, passing the moment, wondering if there's something to be said apart from Will's existence.

That Will can't run around or play with Inigo the way he might be thinking of. That even now, even if the missiles didn't decimate him, the rot in his blood would.

No. Stop. ]

[ Inigo laughs by the time that hand falls on his hair. Maybe he's laying it on a little thick, but.. how can he help it? Even without the giddiness at the realisation of just how seriously Roland sees their bond, Inigo would want to make sure to be upbeat right now. For Roland's sake. So he can just think about the positive things of what he's talking about, rather than falling into what must be endless worry and despair of the boy's fate back home.

(And then there's even all the worries that Inigo doesn't even have an idea of to begin with on top of that.) ]

A young boy who likes reading and fantasy stories? He sounds so sweet already. [ Look, if he's ten, he's probably still too young to be an uptight nerd like Laurent. And Roland is so nice that Inigo can't help but think that his son must have inherited that quality from him.

His smile doesn't drop, but something about it shifts a bit, taking on a more serious quality. The knowing that often lies right behind the smiles that Inigo makes seem so obliviously innocent. ]

.. I'm not sure if it'd help. But.. you know, if you ever want to talk more about him, then feel free to do so anytime with me. [ Inigo figures it's very much on purpose that Roland didn't bring him up at all before, despite how big of a part of his life having a kid must be.

But he also knows cropping things up isn't healthy. Even though he's still working on that part himself as well. ] I'll listen, Roland. I want to know everything about you. I know we're both kind of bad at sharing, but.. let's try to keep doing this, okay? I-- I think it could be good. For us both.

[ It's already striking enough that Inigo wants to know more about the life he left behind in the past, but for him to say he wants to know everything about him? Roland is once again, left speechless. If his eyes shift around, breaking eye contact and making himself look small, it's only because he's so unused to it. It's so unnatural for him to do it, for his lips to speak the words his heart aches or hides.

But despite this, he knows Inigo is correct. And was this not the same advice he gave Inigo once upon a time too? He remains silent, still reserved as Inigo finishes speaking, but his words fail him only because he's not sure what to react to it. Especially when he's been called out like that - not the first time in his life did someone tell him he keeps to himself too much. ]

'It could be good. For us both.' [ It hurts, though; this is what Roland thinks, deep down. Won't say it out loud, not yet. It hurts to talk about things he'd rather write down, lock and key firmly in place. Shut out. The work is more important than his story. A story that already ended, and here he was trying to get back on both feet, to save what he can, to be the best that he can.

But he's not alone, now. He's building a life for himself here, too. However temporary. ]

I'll do my best. [ It's the most he can offer. But he'll smile back too, small and quiet as it is. Inigo wasn't just anyone anymore, either. Surpassing even the barriers he put up to protect everyone else around him in Evermore. ] Will is...Will's been through a lot. [ He swallows thickly. He'll work his way up to it. The missile aside... ] And I know you've been through a lot, too. So I guess we really do need to help each other out when it comes to this.

[ This, this between them. Connecting, sharing. ]

I'll always listen, pup. I'll treasure whatever you share with me. That...that was my promise to you. I won't forget that, either.

[ Roland takes a leap of faith, breathing in deeply. ] So, you ever going to tell me your dad's name? Heh.

[ A lot, huh.

Inigo can't help but wonder if that's Roland's way of refering to what happened back home right before he was pulled away from it - probably not, Inigo thinks, or he would most likely not be able to mention it out loud at all - or if there's more going on with the other.

Maybe he can save those questions for another day, at least. He's already heard a lot by Roland standards for today. And maybe more frequent talk of his son will be good for him. It might keep hope and the happy memories alive in his heart.

So rather than asking, Inigo answers. ]

.. Chrom. [ And sure, his memories of his actual father may be pretty lacking, his memories of the past Chrom pretty soured by the last talk they had, but Inigo can still talk of him, would never think badly of his father. ] That's my father's name, Chrom. He, uh..

[ He pauses, struggling in what to say about him though. It's hard when he's never had too strong of a personal connection to his father the way he's had with his mother. ]

I look a lot like him. Or that's what everyone says, anyway.

[ The source of Roland's pain has always been William - what he could not do for him, what he failed to do for him. A finality that he tries to overcome with every day that he works for a greater good, knowing that it may not end the way his heart desires. But what was a father if not the last person on this earth to stop believing for his child? What was he if not the picture of determination? This, he'll hold on to for the rest of his waking life, no matter what.

But it's also why he can't bring himself to tell Inigo more - despite the promise of brotherhood, or the promise to bring him to his home. Why it pains him still, to remember that his son was suffering. Suffered. Why he found it so easy to see Evan as William, until the kid who would be king stood on his own and defied a darkness even Roland almost succumbed to.

One day. One day, soon. A step at a time. ]

Chrom, huh?

[ He lets the name simmer on his tongue, says it again and again, committing to memory. ] Chrom and Olivia. Olivia and Chrom. [ Inigo's birth parents. Both gone now, both giving their lives for him and his sister. The respect that he feels for them swells in his chest. He tilts his head up, thinking. Wondering that if he ever got the chance, he would tell them their son grew up so well, even if he had to face so much back in Ylisse. That Inigo was a fighter. And that he was kind, most of all. The kindest he'd ever met, second only to Evan himself. ]

[ When he looks at Inigo again, he smiles widely, pretending to tilt his head from side to side as if studying the boy in a new light. In a way, he really was! If Inigo was a splitting image of his father...]

...Hm. I think you look better than him. [ He nods, determined. ] I don't need to see him to know that. You've got your mom's genes in you too, y'know? That tops the king's looks any day. [ And this is Roland's small little way of gauging that; the hesitation, the stark difference in how Inigo talks of Olivia versus how he's mentioning Chrom. He passed away when he was young, that much he knows, Inigo sharing it to him once. But there's a lack of warmth there, a lack of even fond remembrance that he can recognize a mile away. ]

[ THAT'S DEFINITELY SOME BIASED JUDGEMENT RIGHT THERE, ROLAND.

Though it's some biased judgement that gets a blush to rise up on Inigo's cheeks all the same, with him being as weak to these sorts of things as he is. A hand reaches up to his cheek, embarrassed, as he's not quite sure what to say to that in turn. But if Roland actually told him about his child, even though it seemed to be slightly difficult for him, then Inigo owes him enough to keep going as well. ]

Ah.. W-Well, mother was really beautiful. [ He won't deny that! Ever! His mother is the best woman who ever existed.

Though the idea of matching up to her in anything feels wild. ]

But.. um, father was great too. [ He feels the obligation to say it. Even if Inigo never spent much time with him during his life, it feels unfair not to. Especially when he worries that he may have left an unfortunate image of him with Roland, considering how relatively early on he spoke about his father being disappointed with him when they met in the past. ] Everyone always spoke of what an amazing Exalt he was. That he was handsome, strong, brave.. a true king.

[ And Inigo is willing to believe it. Just like how he always believed in how hard his father was working when he was younger, never doubting it for a second. ]

Truthfully, I can't reach up to either of them at all.

[ Us momma's boys gotta stick together, son.

And this isn't at all to diss Chrom. Roland is merely curious about how little Inigo has spoken about his father, though this doesn't come as a complete surprise. Not only did Chrom die early, but going back to meet him in the past seemed to merit Inigo a terrible experience that hurt enough to carry as a memory into the void.

But even that warrants Roland's musings. His own relationship with Will was strained in a way, and looking at it now, it seems to always return to the same thing. Disappointing the other, not being there when it counted. Granted, the context is lost on Roland when it comes to Inigo and Chrom. But strangely enough, Roland sympathizes to an extent with the fallen king of Ylisse, instinctively understanding just a little bit of why Chrom must have been so hard on his children. How could he afford anything else, when he was facing a threat greater than any of them could have imagined...?

Though Roland is a different man, now. He's a bit more learned; leaning on the kindness he's seen in Evan forgiving the man who turned him into an orphan. Seeing the truth beyond petty squabble. Inigo himself, adding to his experience of watching the world through a different lens - choosing to make others happy over violence, or grief. Despite the price paid. Despite the loss of self that comes with it.

Which is why Roland shakes his head and says what he does to Inigo, drawing in just a bit closer as if sharing a secret. ]

Hm. I don't know about that. Say, tell me something, pup. [ Yes, it's better this way. To help him see, instead of telling him. Guiding him to it. ] What do you think they have in common? Your mother, who raised you, and your father the king?

Huh?

[ He looks well and truly surprised, especially from this up close, where it's hard to miss any sign of any emotion on Inigo's face. Maybe to some it could have been obvious where Roland's line of inquiry was going, but apparently not to Inigo himself, who mostly seems caught off guard by the questions. ]

Well.. [ It feels hard, finding the answer. But Inigo wants to do it all the same, even as his voice trails off. It'd be unfair for him to say that Roland should tell him things and then deny Roland any information on Inigo's own part.

But it's just.. Despite them both being his parents, he's so used to thinking about them seperately considering his very different relationships with each. It almost makes it hard to compare them, though he tries.

His mind drifts off. Thinking about other things related to it. Thinking of his whole family. Is there perhaps anything the entire royal family of Ylisse has in common that his parents share too?

He thinks of Emmeryn, the aunt he never got to know, and somehow that makes it click inside of his mind. ]

Mother and father.. they both always put everyone else ahead of themselves. [ A trait that, indeed, makes Inigo very much their child, though he doesn't seem to realise it as he speaks. ] I've never seen or heard of either of them being selfish. They were always thinking about other people. Even if it meant laying down their lives for others, or for the country.

[ Roland is nothing but patient, and it's almost comical the way they drop into such serious tones in the thick of the train's supply closet. But when he speaks to Inigo like this, it's easy, almost natural, to fall into a world that only they inhabit. When all he can see and all he can hear are the two of them, traversing heart and thought hand-in-hand. Similar in so many ways, but Roland leans on Inigo's light more than the other will ever realize.

And Inigo doesn't keep him waiting for long either, hearing exactly the answer he anticipated. His lips break out into a careful smile, a bob of his head once, up and down to affirm it. ]

Yeah. That's a good answer. [ Not the right one, not the wrong one, just good. Lending to his point. Roland straightens and follows through with what he wanted to tell Inigo before, helping him, guiding him out of the thickets of self-doubt. Truthfully, I can't reach up to either of them at all. ]

Inigo. Kings, queens, leaders...They're never going to be the same. They're always going to end up a bit more different than the ones that came before them, and the ones that succeed them too. Living up to some reputation isn't what makes them great. [ His smile widens. He remembers it fondly, that he is imparting no such nonsense that relies on unfounded idealism. Roland was taught not too long ago what really matters - what makes one worthy. ]

They're great because they loved. They loved their people, they loved those around them without holding anything back...[ The glint in Roland's eyes is a signal, a sign that maybe, just maybe, he's not talking in the hypothetical here. That maybe, he's thinking of a certain boy in particular. His hand finds its way to Inigo's shoulder meaningfully. ] And between you and me? I think you're great already.

[ The light in him, the smile. The willingness to sacrifice. Oh yes. This, he believes in no matter what. ]

[ It's funny how Roland is trying to bring this back around to Inigo. And yet the first thing Inigo does when he hears those words, the first thing his mind goes to-- it's Roland. Because Roland is a leader. Both back home, and even now here, though on a smaller scale.

And Roland.. does he love? Inigo thinks so. Even though Roland's outward demeanour may be very different from Inigo's own, who hugs and holds hands and clings to people like no tomorrow, there's no doubt in his mind that Roland does love. The sheer love and easy acceptance he's shown Inigo alone already feels like so much.

But then the man finally brings it back around in such a way that even Inigo's oblivious mind can't miss what he's saying, and it instantly lights up Inigo's cheeks. ]

What?

[ Wait, was this about him all along?

No matter how strong his self-depreciation is though, there's no way even Inigo can deny the fact that he does love. Maybe a bit too much, but.. still. ]

Well, t.. that's true, but..! [ He can't help but want to protest. Especially while Roland looks at him like that, holds his hand on his shoulder. Has he truly earned it? This much trust from someone so impressive? ] They're a lot of other things too! They're strong, brave, resolute... you're like that too, Roland.

[ A compliment he will never hesitate to give. There are so many positive things he thinks about the other, Inigo could write an entire book about it. ]

And I'm still just fumbling around. I got nervous just thinking about telling you I like men, even though I kind of knew it wasn't as if you were going to get angry about it or anything like that. I-- I still have such a long way to go! [ If he even ever gets there in the first place. ]

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